The Journey – Chapter 9: Step by Step

“So where are you going again?” Devon asks as she glances over at Ryan.

They had been watching TV together, when Ryan had received a text message from Brett Moffitt. In the past couple of weeks, he had put off text messages from his friends in favor of helping Devon with how she was feeling and such. Though, given how things had gone well for the past three weeks since her night terror, he was hoping to get some “guy time”.

“Brett wants to go for a bike ride – our normal training route,” he answers. She simply shakes her head, accepting, knowing the route that the boys enjoyed to use when in North Carolina. She also knew that it was crucial for Ryan to stick to his training to keep in shape to do the best job possible on the weekend.

“Okay,” she simply says, catching his attention. Normally, she’d offer some sort of longer answer.

“Is that okay with you, for certain?” She shakes her head yes. “Are you sure that you’ll be okay for awhile by yourself?” She points to the big white puff ball lying beside her on the couch.

“I have company, Ryan. I’ll be fine.” He shakes his head, accepting. He then stands up and heads to get changed to go out.

“If you run into any issues at all, don’t hesitate to text me, okay?” She shakes her head yes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Dude, I thought you had completely given up on guy time entirely,” Brett comments as they sit down for a break partway through the ride. They had been riding through some of the back roads, up and down through the trees. The pair would normally stop for a short break when they received the stream. “No matter what I did, I could never get your ass to join me.”

“Look, I’m sorry,” Ryan starts as he looks out on to the water. “It’s just things have been difficult since last year for Devon. She’s been going through a lot emotionally, and I wanted to be there for her. I didn’t want to go out and do something, and that end up hurting her.” Brett shakes his head, slightly understanding. It still didn’t erase the complete hurt that he felt in no guy time over the past couple of months.

“I get that and I’m sorry for everything you guys went through. It just…it hurt, man. It hurts not seeing your best friend for two months.” Ryan then looks over at Brett, sympathizing with his friend but knowing he made the right decision.

“So am I supposed to just leave my fiancé at home when she’s tore apart emotionally?” Brett lets out a sigh as he looks away from Ryan out on the water.

“Okay, so my comment was out of line and unfair. I’m just telling you how I feel, if that’s fine with you. I didn’t mean what I said to that point. I get why you did what you did. I understand the situation with Devon. I just thought I’d let you know how I feel so you know.” Ryan shakes his head, getting that, but still didn’t see the point to the conversation.

“But yet that makes me feel guilty, sad and angry at the same tim-”

“I didn’t mean it that way, Ryan!” Brett then takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. This was supposed to be fun guy time. “I told you so you know how much I care about you, and how much I value your friendship. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Sorry I jumped on the defense. It’s just that’s how it made me feel because you’re one of my best friends, and I hated the thought of no understanding.” Brett shakes his head, understanding.

“It’s okay. We at least know where we each stand and that’s what matters.” Ryan shakes his head in response.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Following the ride, Ryan walks into the house, closing the door shut behind him. He then walks through the house, glancing into the front room. He smiles as he sees Devon curled up on the couch with Snowball.

“Everything okay while I was gone?” He asks and she shakes her head yes.

“This little guy is great for company,” she answers. “Did you have a good ride?” He shakes his head yes.

“Felt pretty good the whole way, and had a good conversation with Brett so we know where he each other stands.” She then looks at him slightly confused as he sits down beside her. “He told me how much he missed guy time, and I told him how much you meant to me. It got a bit of an argument, but we sorted it out.”

“Ryan…I’m sorry…..It’s my fault…I caused you to miss your tim-”

“Stop apologizing.” He then looks into her eyes as he brushes a bit of hair out of her face.

“Bu-”

“I don’t want to hear your apologies. If I was put in the same situation, I would’ve done it all over again. I love you, I care about you, and I will do anything for you. That includes taking care of you during situations like these. If the guys can’t get used to that, then so be it. They’re not true friends because they don’t know where things stand with me. You also don’t have to worry as I worked it out with Brett. Everything is cool with him, cool with Ryan, cool with all the guys. They know.” He then kisses her lips lightly. “Stop worrying and apologizing.”

The Journey – Chapter 8: Terrors

Lying in bed that night, she kicks her feet back, trying to push out the grasp that holds her close. She kicks harder, while trying to push her arms out as her mind is consumed with thoughts.

“You’re not getting away from me ever again,” she hears in her mind. “You deserve this punishment. You’re a bad little girl.”

“Get away from me!” She yells in the midst of her sleep, continuing to kick her feet as much as she could.

“Your mother never should’ve given birth to you. She should’ve aborted you, or left you some stranger’s doorstep as you’re a rotten, spoiled brat. Face it – nobody is going to save you because nobody loves you because you’re a bad kid. Now do yourself a favor and learn to behave, or make it easy and say bye.”

“I’m not giving up! Let me go!”

Ryan’s eye shoot open as he feels the kicks against him, along with her arms pushing against his as she struggles about in her sleep. It had been awhile since he had experienced this, and he thought that they were getting through these. However, here they were once again.

“Devon,” he whispers lightly as he shakes her body a little.

“Let…me…go…,” she replies, still struggling against him.

“Devon! Wake up!” Her eyes open immediately as she glances at him, eyes wide-open surprised.

“Ryan….” Her voice was shaky and quiet as tears begin to trickle down her face. He immediately brings her as close as he can to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

“It’s okay. It was just a nightmare. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He rubs her back, holding her close as a couple more tears begin to fall. The pair remain in that position till she has calmed herself back down, before separating a little. “Are you okay?”

“I thought I was done with those…I thought I was moving forward…I thought I was gong to be able to move on.” He then grabs her hand with his, holding it firmly as she looks into his eyes.

“You will get to that point, okay? But it’s going to take time as you deal with all the emotions and come to grip with it. Remember what the doctor told you? It takes time to heal wounds and make things easier. You may never fully get over it, but you learn how to deal with it. You’re learning, each day. You’re doing getting out more, you’re getting back to being relaxed when you’re home by yourself, and we’re back to where we were. You’ve made plenty of small steps. The rest will come, eventually.” She hoped that he was right as she truly wanted to move on without having those moments with her father weighing on her shoulders.

“I guess thinking about holidays, Easter and family, it just got me caught back up in thinking about my family and how screwed up things are. I have no relationship with either of my parents, and most of my family has made an outkast, not believing what I said. I…I don’t know….” Ryan’s heart could only break in hearing those words as it was still disturbing to see just how many people in her own family didn’t believe her when she expressed what happened.

“I know it’s tough to handle, but you also have to know that you always have a family in me. Plus, my parents absolutely adore you so you’re part of the family already. Then you have Elliott, Bubba, Shelby, Chris, and your girlfriends Jeni & Nells. I know it’s not the same as a family’s love persay, but you’re loved regardless. That’s what you should remember.” She shook her head, knowing that he was right. It felt good knowing that so many people were in her corner, as there were more beyond those that Ryan mentioned.

“I just wish things were different at times.”

“I know, and I understand.” He then rubs her back a little as they get back comfy together. “Now rather than think about the scary things, how about you think about the positives? Think about the fun times that you’re going to have this Easter weekend with my parents, from decorating eggs for the cousins to the fun & games. Think about the fun of getting to spend some time with me without interruptions.” She then turns back to face him, kissing his lips softly.

“I love you, Ryan.”

“I love you too, and I will always love you. Also, know that whenever you want to talk about your feelings, no matter what it is, you can tell me.” She shakes her head, understanding, before getting back comfy.

She slowly lets her eyes close, working at blocking out every negative thought that she can as she looks towards a glorious future with Ryan.

The Journey – Chapter 7: Shopping Trip

Four races in the books. Four solid finishes within the top-16 to currently sit eighth in points.

Taking a deep breath, Ryan wanted to be able to say that he had a top-10 finish, but he couldn’t complain. He knew the competition that he was up against, especially with the Cup drivers whom competed in the series. He also knew how his team was working hard to improve their cars to Joe Gibbs Racing’s level.

At least they were consistent and putting themselves in a solid position to start the year.

He glances up from the couch as he pats the cat, smiling as he watches Devon walk through the front door. He was caught off-guard when he got home and she wasn’t there, and he was even more caught off-guard as he noticed a simple small box in the bag that she held.

“So what was so important that you had to run out to the store?” He asks as he looks over at her. She then pulls the box out of the bag, showing him. “Tampons? You could’ve asked me to grab them.”

“Guys get all embarrassed over that kind of thing so I didn’t want to put you through that,” she offers as she comes and sits beside him on the couch. “Besides, I wanted to go do it myself. I want to get back into that flow of doing those things by myself without any problems.”  Ryan shook his head, understanding.

A simple trip to the store by herself was a small step in the right direction, in showing that she was growing more confident and healing from what had happened. The cat had helped in making her more comfortable at home in having someone to talk to, and hang out with. If she continued to take baby steps, maybe they could put it all behind them.

“I’m proud of you, honestly,” he tells her as he reaches over and gives her a kiss. “But you see too excited about buying a simple box of tampons.” That was understandable, as no girl was normally excited about that. However, it added an extra layer of happiness for her.

“I got my period this morning, okay? If you think about it – mid-month is normally my time. That’s when I got it last month. Therefore, all those things implemented by the doctor are working to get everything regu-”

“And that means that we’ll get to figuring out that right time of the month for the biggest chance for you to get pregnant, and hopefully you can have the baby that you’re dreaming of.” Devon shakes her head in agreement as Ryan smiles back in return. It seemed perfect and he couldn’t believe it.

He was always focused on racing, and doing what he had to do to make it to the top while having fun with his friends. There was no thought of having a relationship or building a future with someone.

He met Devon, and obviously things had changed.

They were now engaged, and talking about having a family together. He knew before he realized they’d be married. It was just a matter of planning the wedding.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?” He questions as she simply looks over with a smile on her face.

“Have I told you lately how much I can’t wait for this weekend?” She asks and he shakes his head yes. It was hometown race weekend for Ryan, meaning his family and friends would be attendance. If there was any spot to get his first real strong run of the season, this was the weekend. He knew there was excitement for that, but also spending time with his parents. It seemed that since the off-season, Devon had grown to form a good relationship with his parents. He had no complaints, as he was close with his parents and knew having that with his fiancé was a good step for the future.

“Have I told you lately how much I hope that I can run well this weekend?”

“Have I told you lately how much I believe you will run well this weekend?” He then stands up and faces her with a smile on his face as he holds his hand out.

“Well then why don’t we go out to dinner and discuss this upcoming weekend?” She then takes his hand and stands up, to the protest of a meow from Snowball. “I think someone is in disagreement.”

“She’s just mad that she won’t get left overs from dinner tonight from someone.” A guilty grin forms on Devon’s face immediately as Ryan smiles. “Yep, I saw you sharing with the kitty.”

“There was no way that I was eating the tuna without letting her have someone. She’s too behaved to not get a treat.”

The Journey – Chapter 6: Atlanta

Thanks for my reviewers for the suggestion to start off this chapter.

 

Ryan picked up the little fluff ball and smiled as he rubbed his nose against its face.

Since the previous weekend at Daytona, he had a lot on his mind. He was thinking of how to make this weekend’s race at Atlanta much better, though also thinking about Devon. There was working everything out so she could get pregnant as they wanted, while working through the other issues that still remained.

He had turned to his teammates for advice once again, sharing the incident that happened over the weekend with her nervousness. When the teammates pressed for more details about her nerves, Ryan shared how they had been working at making it easier, though still found a couple hang-ups along the way.

“Maybe you should get her a pet,” Darrell suggests. “They say that animals can help calm and relax people, and keep them company. Perhaps that’ll help make it easier for her.”

Ryan originally scuffed off the idea, though stopping at the humane society on the way home changed his mind immediately. His eyes caught a 2-year-old cat that could only described as a white puff ball with the amount of fur that it had. A single glance into the eyes of the cat, and boom, he found his heart melting immediately. There was no way that he could walk out of there without the cat in his arms.

After signing the required papers, he left with the animal, adopted into his care. Now getting out of the truck at the house, holding the cat in his arms, he couldn’t wait to see his new friend with Devon.

He heads inside of the house, walking through as his senses immediately light up from the smell coming from the kitchen.

“I think someone is cooking a good dinner,” he says quietly to his little companion as he heads down the hall. He enters the kitchen, noticing the pot on the stove. “Something smells good. Whatcha cooking?”

“Chicken stir…,” Devon replies as she turns around to face Ryan, stopping mid-sentence as she notices the cat in his arms. “Is that a cat?” Ryan shakes his head yes.

“I know that you’ve been having a tough time dealing with everything and trying to move forward. I mentioned something to my teammates as we talk about everything, I hope you don’t min-”

“That’s fine Ryan….” It didn’t bother her as she knew that they could trust Darrell, Chris, Ricky and Trevor with details.

“Darrell suggested that I should get you a pet because sometimes they can help calm and relax, while keeping you company. I stopped at the humane society out of curiosity, and immediately fell in love with this little guy. He’s two-years-old. His name is Snowball.”  Devon walks over, looking into the little cat’s eyes. She found her heart melting as soon as she caught a glimpse of him, as well as at the gesture from Ryan.

“He’s certainly a snowball with all that fur, and he’s certainly got the most adorable eyes. I’ve never had a pet, but I think he’ll make a welcome edition to the family.” Ryan smiles as he looks up from the cat into Devon’s eyes. “Thank you for thinking of me – well, I have to thank Darrell for the suggestion, but thank you.”

“I want to help you move forward. I want to do whatever possible for you. If it includes getting a cat and taking care of him, then I’m willing to do that.” She then takes the cat from his arms, holding it her arms as she glances at it with a smile.

“I think he’ll make a great friend, Ryan.”

***************

Another weekend under his belt into the season, another disappointing run that he had to face. Despite showing speed and looking like he’d contend for a top-10 finish, he would end up 16^th virtue of a pit road speeding penalty.

Just like Daytona, another mid-pack finish and another day of coming short on expectations.

“It’ll get better,” Seth tries to instill in Ryan post-race, just as he did at Daytona. “We all make mistakes. It just takes practice in getting it better. We’ve made mistakes on pit road in the past. You’ve made your mistakes. We’ll go get them at Vegas. At least we know that we have speed.” Ryan just shakes his head, no smile even trying to peak through as it did at Daytona a week before.

“It just sucks,” he comments in response. “You guys worked so hard to give me a good solid car and I messed up. It sucks, period.” Seth walks over to his young driver, feeling the same disappointment and frustration.

“Just like I told you last week – I know it sucks and understand how you’re feeling. But, sulking your head all week isn’t going to do any of us any good. Let’s take what we learned and focus on this coming weekend at Las Vegas. We’re going to get a win this year and make the Chase. Let’s use this as learning and motivation.” Ryan shook his head simply in response, hoping that his crew chief was right on all accounts. Besides, it was just two races into the season. They had lots of time to make up the lost ground.

“See you Monday.” Ryan then walks away from his crew chief.

“Ryan!” Ryan then glances back at Seth. “You’re just going to walk away disappointed without any sign of hope buddy?” Ryan lets out a sigh and shrugs his shoulders.

“I’m trying, man, I’m trying. It’s just tough.” Seth could only sympathize as he glances over at Devon.

“You know how to make that boy happy so do us all a favor, okay?” She shakes her head yes as she wraps an arm around his waist.

“Don’t worry – I’ve got it under control Seth,” she assures the crew chief with a smile. “Come on Ryan.” The pair then walk away together as a bunch of hoots and hollers escape from the crew members; they all had a theory as to what the pair would be up to next.

The Journey – Chapter 5: Daytona

With everything that they’d gone through, it felt great to be returning back to normal in many ways.

They were getting their relationship back on track, they were working at getting things sorted out with her, and now they were returning back to their favourite normal – raceday.

Standing on the grid pre-race, Devon could only think back to last year at this time when she was sitting at home, watching the race on TV. She remembered hearing the name Ryan Reed, and immediately being intrigued to learn more about him. She could remember her heart fluttering a little when he graced the television, followed by cheering her heart out for him to win the race.

It was crazy to think that a year later, she now stood on pit road at the biggest track in all of racing ahead of the season opener, with Ryan as her boyfriend.

Unfortunately, though, the race didn’t go as well as she would’ve hoped or wanted. He would get damage early in the race, before following that up with an issue on pit road. Needless to say, a mid-pack finish was not what any of them were hoping for on the day.

“We’ll grow and get better from here,” Seth Barbour tells Ryan after the race. “The contact wasn’t your fault, and if you’re going to have an issue on pit road, might as well have it here and not later on in the season. We have the speed, we have the ability, and we have the chemistry. We’ll be fine.” Ryan gives his crew chief a small smile, though the disappointment showed. He had hoped to be apart of that fabulous final lap battle that happened.

“I know we’ll be fine,” Ryan comments in response. “It just sucks in the meanwhile.” Seth wraps his arm around his young driver’s shoulders, sympathizing with the comment.

“I know it sucks, trust me I feel like you’re feeling. Now let’s use that for motivation.” Ryan smiled and shook his head in agreement. Rather than fret upon what happened, it was time to push harder next week at Atlanta in hopes of a better finish.

“That’s the plan.” He then walks over to where Devon was standing to the side, pulling her close into a hug. “Are you ready to go?” Devon knew that he didn’t want to stick around and dread about the finish. He was already set to move forward and beyond.

“If you’re done with the team, we can go,” she tells him. He gives a glance back at Seth, who simply nods his head. The pair then head off together, set to put the day behind them. She gives his hand a simple squeeze, followed by a quick kiss, as they walk together with a small smile. “Let it go…”

“I can’t just let it go,” he tells her. “It’s disappointing. This is one of those races that I had marked on the calendar that I thought I could run really well and win. But yet, here we are.”

“It’s Daytona. Sometimes it goes your way, other times it doesn’t go your way. Like Seth said, you’ll get them next week.” He knew that he had to keep reminding himself of that as it’d be the only way possible to get away from what had just happened this past weekend.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The following Monday after any race brought forth a series of meetings that Ryan had to attend. It started off with a meeting of all the drivers and crew chiefs at Roush Fenway Racing, followed by a meeting with just his team. The key to these meetings was going through the weekend that had just past and dissecting it, and then figuring out how to do better at the next race.

While Ryan was busy with meetings, Devon had met up with Shelby in Bubba’s office, looking to sound off to her about some things that were on her mind.

“So remember how we talked about how I was moving forward and things were going smoothly?” She asks and Shelby shakes he head yes, remembering the discussion while Ryan was busy. “Well, it’s not going as well as I would’ve hoped. Ryan was going to go out after media day and spend time with Brett and Ryan (Truex), but ended up not going due to my nervousness about being alone at the hotel.”

“How did he figure out that you were nervous?” Shelby wonders as Devon lets out a sigh.

“I sort of let it show with concern of how long he’d be, and being a little quieter than normal.” Shelby could see that, having seen signs when her and Devon separated a couple weeks prior and she’d be alone for some time before Ryan got home.

“Given what you’ve been through, it’s normal to feel that way. Your mind plays tricks on you in giving you a sense that it’ll happen again and you’re vulnerable. It’s understandable, Devon. Lucky for you, you have a really understanding boyfriend.” Devon knew that she could in no way shape or form take Ryan for granted as that statement reigned true. It seemed Ryan would do anything for her.

“It’s just so frustrating, though!” Shelby could understand that, having seen how Devon was a very independent person who liked to do her own thing. Though she also knew that Devon liked to put walls up, and it was nice to see that Ryan could break them down and help her.

“I can understand why it’s frustrating. I get it. You don’t want to be controlled by something that you feel shouldn’t control you. But it takes time to get over those fears and concerns. Do you think someone who’s been seriously hurt in a car crash becomes comfortable riding in a car immediately? Do you think someone who has been in a plane crash just gets back in the plane right away? It takes time for the body and mind to realize that things will be okay. It’ll come…” Devon had heard that numerous times from many people, ranging from the doctors, to Ryan, to even talking with other friends. She wasn’t a patient person, though.

“But when?” Shelby wished that she could give Devon a clear answer to help her move forward comfortably.

“I don’t know, honestly. It’ll just depend on yourself and how your body & mind works at moving forward. Regardless, when you get frustrated, just realize how far you’ve come from what happened and hold on to the positives. You have a great boyfriend, everything else seems to be in order. It’ll happen.”

Devon wanted to believe what Shelby was telling her, and place belief that things would grow clearer in a matter of time. However, it kept feeling like there was a black cloud over her that’d never go away.

When would everything return back to normal?

The Journey – Chapter 2: Cycles and Pregnancy Test…..

Ryan walked through the door, placing the box on the counter as he looked over at Devon.

“I still can’t believe that you sent me to buy this alone,” he comments as he stares at the box on the counter. She then walks over and looks it over, before glancing at him.

“I could’ve made you buy tampons on your own,” she retorts as he looks at her with a shocked expression, shaking his head no immediately as she laughs. “Besides, it’s a harmless pregnancy test. If anybody seen you, they’d just realize that we’re trying. What’s the harm in that?” Ryan couldn’t seem to find any logical reason, although he had to admit that he wanted to keep it private right now and just between them. There was a certain magic and mystique to going through the process.

“There’s also so many on the shelf. How do you figure out the best one to buy?” Devon feels a serge of nerves and shock come over her. Perhaps it was a bad idea for Ryan to pick up one by himself.

“Please tell me that you didn’t go with the cheapes-”

“I went for the middle ground. I figured that’d work.” She then lets out a sigh of a relief. “And that’s why I should’ve got you to come with me, or something.” He then reaches in the fridge, grabbing a drink. “Besides, I have a question for you, and it’s only because I’ve heard this in movies that I ask the question. Have you missed a period yet?” Devon lets out a sigh as she leans back against the counter. The question brought forth an immediate reminder of everything that happened as she glances at her feet. Since the events that took place, it seemed that her period was not coming on schedule.

“I don’t know…” Ryan then looks at her, concern beginning to fill him. It seemed odd that a girl wouldn’t know her schedule.

“How do you not know if you have or not? I thought girls knew their cycle off by hea-”

“It’s been screwy since the attack, okay?!?” She then takes a deep breath, knowing that it was unfair for her to yell at Ryan in the heat of the moment. It was an understandable question, and one that shouldn’t have set her off. “I’m sorry….”

“It’s okay.” He then closes the gap between them, wrapping his arms around her. “I know everything surrounding that is sensitive for you, and I know it’s tough. It’s ok-”

“I shouldn’t have yell-”

“It’s okay. I understand…” He then kisses her forehead lightly as he holds her against him. “So it’s been abnormal lately, if you will?”

“I usually get my period near the end of the month, which would’ve been like a week after we had sex. It hasn’t been happening right on the money lately, though, and it hasn’t been lasting its normal length. I looked it up and it does with the trauma to the body, combined with the stress that I have been under in dealing with everything since.” Ryan takes it in, understanding perfectly what she was saying. It went along with small tidbits that he had seen in movies about girls and these moments. Now it was just about finding the right way to approach this with her.

“That’s understandable. Did you get your period last month a week after?” She shakes her head yes, slowly. “Okay, and normally if a girl gets their period, it means that they’re not pregnant so…” She then looks up into his eyes.

“So you probably feel like an ass buying that test knowing that it’ll come out negative now, right?” He shakes his head no. “Ryan, admit it. don’t lie because you don’t want to hurt my fee-”

“I’m telling you the truth. It doesn’t make me feel any different than my initial feelings on buying it. Besides, we’re going to need eventually and it helped us faced the topic head on and discuss it.” He then walks over to the counter and picks it up. “I’m going to put it away in the bathroom cupboard for now till we know that we need it.”

“That’s fair.” He then retreats to the bathroom, putting it in the cupboard. He then stops and faces himself in the mirror, taking a deep breath before giving his face a quick wash with some cold water.

“It’ll get easier over time….” He wanted everything to return to the ease that they had before everything happened. He didn’t want the reminders of what happened. He didn’t want the unneeded stresses. He heard the saying that it’d get easier and better over time, but how long was that going to take? Despite becoming frustrated at times, he didn’t want to force it or run away from it. He loved Devon and didn’t know what he’d do if they ever lost each other. For that reason, he knew that he had to ride the wave. He then takes a final calming breath before returning back to the kitchen with her.

“Since we’re serious about having a baby after the notification from the doctor, I’ve been thinking that we should go back to the doctor. We should talk to the doctor about getting the cycle regulated, and finding our peak time, if you will, that gives us the best chance.” A small smile formed on Ryan’s face. He liked the fact that she was taking initiative on the matter. It showed her strength, and the ability to start moving forward with regards to every aspect.

“As long as you’re comfortable with that, and really want to do that, then I’m fine with that.”

The Journey – Chapter 1: Flight Delayed

Here we go again 😀 Hopefully Ryan has a great season on-track so we can have a great time with the story.

Disclaimer – All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.  The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  No copyright infringement is intended.

 

My flight is about to leave when it starts raining 🐱&🐶. 😭#delayed pic.twitter.com/7cZkqWgg3M

— Ryan Reed (@driverRyanReed) February 3, 2016

I miss you….

I miss you, too. I hope you’re going to be home soon.

Ryan read the text message and could only let out a sigh as he glanced out of the window. Why couldn’t his flight had been scheduled for a couple hours earlier? Why couldn’t the rain had started a couple hours later? It was just miserable sitting there looking at the big drops on the windows. It seemed what it was doing outside now fit in his mood inside of the plane.

Should’ve been, but flight delayed 😦 It’s raining.

Devon could only let out a sigh as she heard the news of the delay. She had already been counting the hours, minutes, seconds till Ryan was back in her arms. It seemed their passionate night together was too far away in her mind and had happened an eternity ago. Why couldn’t they go back to the feelings hat they had expressed to each other then?

It was even worse that she didn’t like being alone. Despite having worked at moving forward after what had happened, there was still some unease in walking through the walls of the house without someone there.

She had told herself time and time again that nothing would happen and it was all in her mind. She had reminded herself that her father could no longer hurt her, having been locked away within the walls of prison. However, she found herself frightened by each sound that was made, looking over her shoulder, and wondering if perhaps she was being watched from the outside.

In hopes of escaping those thoughts, she tried to keep herself busy anytime that she was stuck in this situation. She met up with one of her original friends for lunch, before going out for shopping during the afternoon with Shelby. Her friends understood the unease that she had, with Shelby even offering for her to stay with her and Bubba for the night. Devon was about accept, though in the end turned the offer. She knew that she had to get used to the idea of being home alone, and getting back into the daily flow.

It was all part of making sure that she was able to move forward, and be prepared for whatever else may fall in life.

Have you pee’d on the stick yet? I want an answer….

Devon found herself frozen in reading the latest text as she glanced over the box that had been sitting on the counter since earlier in the day, unopened and untouched. She had debated opening it and taking out the instructions to at least to see what to watch for, but found herself hesitating even about that.

Just like Ryan, she wanted to know the answer. The idea of being able to pregnant was surrounded with so much hope and possibility, especially considering how things had looked through the end of last year. She knew that it was a 50/50 chance whether she was pregnant after the past couple nightly activities, and probably an even slimmer chance as she had no idea what her cycle entailed. Regardless, it was intriguing to wonder whether she was pregnant or not.

But yet, the intrigue never seemed to overcome the nerves, and as a result, the box remained untouched.

I want you to be here when I do this. I want to share the moment with you.

Ryan had heard the stories from his friends in how they learned that their wife or girlfriend was pregnant. Most females had found out that they were pregnant by themselves with the test. There were also other females whom found out that they were pregnant by having a couple girly friends help them in going through the process.

Now hearing that Devon wanted to wait for him and have him as part of the process, it caused his heart to melt slightly in realizing just how close they were to each other. It was almost like an honor to have the chance to be part of every step in the process.

He knew that his racing schedule was going to make being there always difficult, but his goal was to be there with her every step of the way. From finding out that she was pregnant, to the first set of test and to each ultrasound, all the way to the moment that their baby graced them with its presence.

You’re adorable. I love you. I can’t wait to see you, cuddle you, be with you.

I can’t wait to kiss those adorable lips of yours.

Can’t wait to run my hands through your hair.

Can’t wait to pull your body close to mine.

Rekindling – Chapter 7

Clock on the dash says 3:35
There’s plenty of gas and the night’s still alive

 

They both ride it out, laying there flopped out on the bed afterwards.

“That was everything and more,” Ryan comments as he looks over at her, in which she simply smiles in return as she rolls over to face him.

“That was worth every bit of waiting, might I add,” she adds. “They say that distance and space makes love go fonder, and I think I have to agree. Thank you for being patient with me.” He smiles as he leans in and kisses her lips.

“It was well worth it. I’m glad that we still have that magic as we call it.” She then laughs as she mulls it over.

“Given how much of a mess we’ve created on these blankets and ourselves, I say that we may end up with something more to celebrate in a couple of months.” Ryan’s eyes lit up with the possible thought of her being pregnant. It was certainly one that caused them both to light up with a magical sense in knowing that it was a slim possibility months ago.

“I hope that you’re on to something….and as far as this mess, I don’t mind it all. As long as I’m with you, that’s all that matters.”

He then glances at the clock, seeing how it’s still early in the afternoon, meaning that they had the rest of the evening and night to spend with each other, interrupted, however they wanted. Knowing the feelings that they were both experiencing, it’d probably include more sex, as well as some precious cuddles. Regardless, it felt nice to have his Devon back.

“I think it’s time that I help you clean that up,” he says, standing up with a smile. He then holds it out his hand, helping her up off of the bed as they look into each other’s eyes.

“You don’t have some plan up your sleeve, do you?” She wonders and he shakes his head no.

“I just have an open afternoon, evening and night, and am willing to spend it with my girl however she may please. That could include more of the same, or something else. I don’t care what the activity is, as long we’re together.” She smiles as she takes him by the hand, and leads him to the bathroom.

“So there’s no plan about the fact that we’re heading to the bathroom together, naked?” He shakes his head no as he shuts the door behind them, not that it mattered as they were home by himself with no interruptions expected for the day.

“Nope. I just figured that it’d be nice to clean up. If anything else happens, then let it happen.” She then glances back with a wink as she turns on the tap.

“Just make sure that you are careful and don’t slip, please. I don’t want to have to explain that to Jack.” He then laughs as he waits for her adjust the water.

“Duty noted. I don’t think I’d want to explain that to the boss, either.”

 

The End

Stay tuned for the next story in the series, titled “The Journey”, in which will follow Ryan and Devon for the 2016 race season 😀

Rekindling – Chapter 6

Gonna make the most of every mile
Do anything to make your smile
Land on my lips
Get drunk on your kiss

 

“Excited to get home?” Amanda questions as she glances over at Ryan. He had officially gone and done the required appearance, and was now on his way home, thanks to a lift from his PR rep Amanda. He couldn’t wait to return home and be back in the arms of his lovely fiancé, dreading the past 24 hours without her.

“Is it that obvious?” He asks and Amanda shakes her head yes with a laugh.

“It’s okay – puppy love is a great thing. It’s nice to see you both so happy, and close with each other. I was honestly worried after everything that happened.” Ryan couldn’t agree more, as he did have his moments when she’d pull from him some. However, seeing how she’d always turn to him, and how they were able to grow back closer over the past week before he took the trip, it was reassuring.

“They say that tough moments can you make you stronger as an individual, and as a pair. I guess we’re a good example of that.” Amanda couldn’t help but smile in response as she pulled into the driveway.

“I will see you tomorrow at the shop. Make sure you stop by my office as I have a couple things to go over with you.” Ryan shakes his head, accepting, having grown used to that with Amanda.

“Thanks for the ride home.” He then climbs out of her Ford Focus, grabbing his bag out of the back for heading up to the front door of the house. He takes out his key, and slips it in the keyhole, turning the handle and heading inside. “Devon?”

He sets his bag down by the door, slipping off his sweater and shoes. He knew that he could take the bag upstairs and unpack things, but decided that he’d rather spend time with Devon instead. Some cuddles and discussions, perhaps some kisses, could do him well in erasing the losing feeling.

“I’m in the bedsroom!” She calls out from the bedsroom, as she laid sprawled out on the bed. She figured he would’ve headed there right away given that he’d need to unload his bag.

Ryan makes his way through the house, heading to the bedsroom. He glances in the room and immediately, his jaw drops as he notices the brunette sprawled across the bed.

Devon looks back with a simple smile, letting her hair drape around her face, showcasing the curves of her cheeks amongst the curls of the hair. The girls had debated putting it up and going fancy, but decided that wouldn’t be worth it with what was to come.

As she stood up and walked towards him, Ryan couldn’t take his eyes off of her body. She had chosen to go to with a red dress that only came down to just past her slit. The dress showed off her curves correctly, hugging her body all the way around and down from top to bottom. Ryan’s eyes caught the top of the dress, seeing how it showed some of her breasts, with the top riding just below the top of them.

“I missed you,” she simply comments as she walks right up to him. She then wraps an arm around him, pulling him close. “The entire time that you were gone, I couldn’t get my mind off of you, or the conversation that we had. It seemed to be the perfect magic to rekindle a certain spirit in me, as all I could think about was your sweetness, your sexiness and the fun that we could have together.” She then kisses his lips, letting the passion fly without holding anything back.

“Are you sure about this?” Ryan manages to squeeze in between kisses as she pushes him back up against the wall.

“Ryan, there’s a lot of things that I questions till in my life, but there’s one thing I know for sure – I love you so much, and I want this with you more than ever. I want to forget the pain that I know, and remember the joy that I feel with you.” Every comment, combined with the outfit of choice, had him breaking down the barriers of resistance, wanting to cave and immediately go in for the kill. But yet, his worries and discussions of chances in hurting her, still lingered in his mind and he didn’t want to push too early.

“I’m only doing this if you’re certain that you’re rea-”

“I’m ready.” She then moves back far enough to look straight in his eyes. “I’m ready so will you please stop stuttering and help me?” That was all Ryan needed to hear as he pulls her back close, kissing her lips.

“You don’t know how much I have missed this and need you…”

“I need you too, baby…”

“But let’s take it slow…” He then reaches around her back, undoing the zipper before slipping off the top of her dress and watching it fall to the floor. “I like the new dress, by the way. I’m sorry to have put it on the floor so quickly and pote-”

“Stop worrying.” She then keeps him pinned back against the wall, as she slips off his t-shirt before running her heads down her chest.

“Are you sure that you’re ready for this?” He hated to continue asking, but couldn’t help but shake the nagging feeling that was left there.

“Of course. I’ve been ready since our discussion before you left.” She then moves her hands down his body, running the tip of one of her fingers around the button on his jeans.

“I just want to make sure.” She was getting annoyed of the question already, but understood. It was why she had taken time in making sure that she was ready for this.

“I know, and I love that about you. I love how you’re always here for me, always willing to take care of me and willing to protect me no matter what.” She then pops the button on his jeans, letting them fall to the ground.

“It’s because I love you so much, always and forever.” He then kisses her lips as she runs her fingers around his waist, feeling the fears and resistance fading away, and being traded with the temptation and thirst that it seemed Ryan always brought out in her.

“Then what are we waiting for?” She then runs her fingers down his cock, as he lets out a moan.

“I don’t know…” She then looks into his eyes, kissing his lips lightly as she rubs his cock gently, feeling it harden to her touch.

“Seems like your manly hood needs me.” Ryan wanted to burst out and tell her just how much, but still held back in fear that they’d be frozen at some point by her worry.

“I need you…badly…” She then keeps her gaze locked on his.

“Well then take me baby…”

“That’d be my pleasure.” He then picks her up and lays her back on the bed, gently, before climbing on top of her and going inside of her. He then begins to thrust gently, capturing himself in the moment but not wanting to hurt her by going too quick, too early.

“Ryan…” The moan escapes her body, without much control as she is further lost in the moment.

“Devon…”

“Oh God baby…”

Rekindling – Chapter 5

Gonna cuss the morning when it comes
Cause I know that the rising sun
Ain’t no good for me

 

Following the shower together, the pair headed to the bedsroom together, laying down in the bed with their eyes focused on each other.

Ryan had been careful with the steps that he had taken thus far, slowly closing the gap, growing more comfort with each one. He didn’t want to push it and ruin the progress that he had made between them. It was all about finding the magic, reassuring her and rekindling the fire that they once knew.

Though a glance over her shoulder at the clock revealed that it was already quarter after one in the morning. He could only let out a sigh, knowing that meant about six more hours before morning when he had to fly out to do a sponsor appearance. If only he could buy himself more time with her…

“You’re thinking of something,” Devon cuts in his thoughts as he lets out a sigh.

“I don’t want this to end,” he offers. “I want to lay here for hours upon hours, spending time with you, kissing your lips, and enjoy the love that we have for each other. However, six more hours and I will be boarding a plane to fly across the country.” She hated to see have to leave, either. She had been planning on going with him, though still wasn’t comfortable with going out too much, especially that far. With that said, she had planned a girl’s day and night with Shelby and a couple others while Ryan was gone.

“It’s only for two days, and then you’ll be home once again.” She then closes the space up that was between them, lying closer to him than she was before. “Then we’ll be back here together and can continue what we’ve started.” She then wraps an arm around his neck. “And perhaps we can take another step further.” She then pulls him closer, kissing his lips once again.

“I’ll be open for that, as long as you’re comfortable.” She then smiles as she looks into his eyes.

“Ryan, you don’t need to worry about that. I am comfortable here in your arms and I know that I can trust you. I can also assure you that I’m taking things at the speed that I can handle.” He shakes his head, glad of that reason. At times, it had him frustrated, but a deep breath and realizing just deeply he loved her made him realize that it was all for the right reason.

“As long as you know that, and know that I’ll never hurt you, that’s all that I need to know.” She smiles as she kisses his lips once again.

“I’ve always known that deep down. It’s just been hard to bring myself to have you touch me.” She then takes a deep breath. “Every time I think of a hand on a certain body part, or a certain feeling, it flashes my mind back to what happened. Though, slowly, with each touch, I’m realizing that there is no way to connect the pair of them together.”

“Anything that feels uncomfortable, you just say the word and I will immediately stop. I don’t ever want to push those boundaries.” She shakes her head, trusting Ryan with his word. If he could hold back and allow her to go about this at her pace, it showed enough commitment to go forth with that step.

“I know I’ve said it a ton of times, but I cannot thank you enough. I can’t thank you for the patience that you’ve shown. I can’t thank you for how you’ve helped me grow, and shown me love. I can’t thank you enough for giving me a second chance. I just can’t say it enough.” He smiles as he was used to these spells from her, but they weren’t needed. There was a reason that he had done all of those things, and that boiled down to one single thing.

“I did it all because of how much I love and care about you. I know the sweet side of you, Devon, and I want to be there to reach, touch it and enjoy it. As much as those crazed sex night, and the pressure to rekindle everything back to that is there, I also cherish simple moments like this in having conversation. It’s nice to have someone that I can lay my heart on the line to, and is there to support me no matter what.” A smile forms on her face as it was nice to hear that in return. Love was something that didn’t happen much in her life, and it was nice to know that despite all trials, it hadn’t changed one single bit.

“I love spending time with you. You let me be myself and do my own thing. You inspire others to do things beyond belief.  You are one of the most sweetest kindest people that I know. You’re always pushing the boundaries. Most of all, I also believe in you and what you can do on any given Saturday afternoon. I’m going to say this once and only once, but I think I may get to celebrate with you some this season in a big way.” Ryan knew what she meant by those words. He knew that the competition would be tough, and the new Chase format would present a unique challenge. However, as he put the ices together, he knew that he had a team that could possibly contend.

“No promises, but I will try to do you proud.”

“Ryan, you don’t have to do anything to make me proud. I’m proud of you everyday for what you’ve done in accomplishing your dream, pushing the limits and doing this. You don’t need to do any special to make me prouder.”

With each comment back and forth, it seemed that the barriers were falling and she felt herself willing to accomplish taking the next step forward. It was a thought that she went to sleep with that night, and knew that she had to work something up with the girls on that note.