Sunday, January 7 – Michigan
The entire car ride from there back to the airport was silence. Lindsay nor Chase could muster a reaction to what Shelley said, nor find the words to comfort Sarina. Sarina, meanwhile, was lost in her own thoughts, ranging from disbelief to anger.
“If you guys need anything, don’t hesitate to call,” Lindsay offers as she stops at the drop-off at the airport. “Sarina, I mean it – I am just a phone call away. I’ll bust my ass down to North Carolina for you. And Chase, the offer extends to you, too. Thanks for a fun time in Puerto Rico.”
“As long as you promise to keep in contact with Ryan,” Chase comments and Lindsay just rolls her eyes. “Oh come on….”
“Just because you set us up on a date one night for your own reasons, it doesn’t mean you made magic.” Chase gives her a sad face and she just shrugs her face back in response. “Take care of my cousin.”
“Always.” Lindsay then looks over at Sarina.
“Bye princess.” She gives her a hug and Sarina just gives her a small smile in response, before grabbing her bag and beginning the walk to the plane. “Like I sai-”
“Don’t worry. I know how to get through to her.” Chase then follows her.
The silent streak continued, which was no surprise to Chase. He watched as she simply sat up in the seat as he went through checking things over, before getting set to fly out.
“We’re heading home, right?” She questions and he takes a deep breath. He knew that’d be the best option considering the emotions, but there were other plans in place. Maybe those were better off cancelled, though.
“We’re actually going to Georgia,” he tells her as she looks at him confused. “The game is tomorrow, so we’re going to my paren-”
“Oh, so while you go have some fun, you’re going to just ship me off to your parents?” Chase instantly looks over surprised as she takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like tha-”
“No, you have a point.” She was now a little confused as he takes a deep breath. “I just went ahead and made the decision of what to do tomorrow night while I went to the game without even consulting you. Meanwhile, you were the one who surprised me with the tickets and I care about you more than anything.” He then closes his eyes, debating how to express this next. He knew the waters were testy due to her emotions. “With how you’re feeling and everything on, I don’t want you to be alone tomorrow night – just in case. I just feel it’d be safer if you were with someone, and my parents were the first ones that came to mind. They’d do anything for us, and I know I can trust them.”
“I can trust your parents, too, and I don’t have a problem with it actually. That comment was more out of my own anger and spite for my situation.” Chase nods his head, accepting. “But we can’t just go to Georgia and stay there overnight. Remember we have the appointment with Samantha tomorrow?” Chase freezes, almost ready to go palm to forehead.
“I’m so sorry that I forgot about that. I was thinking about the vacation, Shelley, feelings, carin-”
“And your dawgs?” He shrugs his shoulders.
“Can you blame me?” She laughs, shaking her head no. “It just slipped my mind – not on purpose, though, before I feel this is really an important thing to do. I’ll text my mom and let her know we’re not coming tonight and we’ll go home as planned.” She smiles a little, as it was a better comforting scenario based on all the events today. “Anyways, you could stay with Kyle and Samantha tomorrow nig-”
“They’re leaving to head on their vacation. Let’s just say that Samantha has cursed the cold weather up and down.” Chase chuckles, not surprised.
“You can’t be as fashionable with a ton of layers, right?” She just rolls her eyes in response. “So for tomorrow night, though, it’s your choice. You could ask Ryan, you could ask Christopher, you could stick with my parents – anybody else you want, actually. Or, if you really feel comfortable and feel there will be no issues, you could stay home.” She thinks it over, pondering the options.
“Ryan? Are you kidding me? Have you not realized the annoyance that we have for each other very quickly?” Chase chuckles, nodding his head. “And by the way, it’s not a bad thing. It’s actually fun at times. But a whole night with him? Yeah, not happening. However, I do like the Christopher suggestion. He has been bugging to have a night to hang out and catch up since we last seen each other. So I will accept that offer before he flies out to Oklahoma for the Chili Bowl.” Chase smiles, glad that they found a compromise.
“And Sarina, I truly am sorry for that remark earlier and how it came out. I didn’t mean to offe-”
“Stop apologizing. It’s fine.” She then reaches over, lightly kissing his lips. “I love you, and I want you to remember that no matter what is going on.”
“I love you, too. I will always love you, no matter what happens or what anybody else tells me.” She then smiles as she sits back. “And when you want, we can talk about Shelley’s words.” Sarina nods her head, accepting. She knew the topic needed to be addressed, just like others at hand, but finding the courage and sorting out a way to describe it would be another whole challenge all together.
“I’ll keep that offer in mind, but I’m okay as long as I know you’re by my side.”
“I’m not running, ever.” She then closes her eyes, taking a long deep breath. “I’m sorry. That was terrible wording agai-”
“It’s okay, Chase. The intentions cover all the emotions at hand. We can go when we’re ready.” He nods his head, accepting, silently kicking his own butt to himself.
Sunday, January 7 – North Carolina
Chase lies back in the bed beside her, shifting over closer as she lays her head on his chest.
“As much as I love Colorado and Puerto Rico, it feels nice to be home in our own bed,” she comments as she rubs her stomach. “Oh man…”
“Sore?” He offers and she nods her head.
“Everything else has settled down or stopped, except the bits of pain – and tonight, it’s a little worse than other times.” He moves his right hand to her stomach, beginning to make small circles as she gets comfier against him.
“Stress, combined with moving around a lot would cause that. Just take a deep breath, close your eyes, and relax. I’m not going anywhere. My night is committed to you.” She does as instructed, falling asleep shortly after.
Monday, January 8 – North Carolina
Sarina gets out of the car, takes a glance over at Chase with a small nod of the head, before meeting up with Samantha.
“Hey sweetheart,” Samantha offers, wrapping an arm around her. “How are you?” Sarina takes a deep breath.
“Nervous,” she admits as Samantha rubs her shoulder lightly.
“I understand. I would be, too. At least you’re feeling better – and you actually look really good. Did you have fun in Puerto Rico?” Sarina nods her head as she glances back at Chase.
“I have to tell you later about the bird adventure we went on, and then the special dinner together.” Samantha looks back at Chase.
“Well well, you have a prince charming on your hands, huh?” Chase just smiles in response.
“I would do anything for her,” Chase comments and Samantha nods her head, accepting. She didn’t need re-assurance of that from that.
The appointment started off smoothly, as it was determined everything surrounding the miscarriage had gone accordingly, from the blood to no complications. With assurance the pain would subside over the week, a quick pelvic exam led to a bit of time to look over everything resulted in some nerves.
“So Samantha brought everything to me because you want some answers, correct?” Dr. Shave questions and Sarina nods her head. “That’s a reasonable request as I can understand the shock over what happened. Like she told you, though, it’s not a totally unique situation as I’ve seen it before. Now, I have looked over everything and I can’t say that we have an exact cause for this miscarriage.”
“Of course not,” Sarina comments as Chase simply rubs her shoulders. “I figured answers would make it easier to understand, move forward – but nope, I don’t get that blessing. Why would I expect otherwise?”
“It could be a blessing in disguise, though,” Samantha offers, catching their attention. “If there was no exact cause, that leads the door open for you to try again down the road – if you want to, and know that there will be no issues. Isn’t that comforting?” Sarina lets out a sigh and nods her head. Maybe Samantha was right, but that didn’t make this situation easier.
“I just don’t want to deal with this surprise, again…”
“The birth control pills that you are on – I would recommend changing them to another kind that has proven to have a better track record,” Dr. Shave suggests, writing a prescription as she talks. “And in the process of increasing your security measures until you are properly ready, I can include a list of condom brands that have been proven successful. I would then also just suggest taking a pregnancy test every couple weeks if it helps you deal with this.” Chase takes the prescription and list from the doctor, glancing it over. Anything was better than nothing in his mind, and he knew a repeat situation would cause way more harm than imaginable.
“What if that pregnancy test shows that I am positive?” Sarina then questions aloud. “What if this happens, again? I’m not ready to be pregnant or a mother, especially with my career of choice, but there’s no way that I could bring myself to get an abortion for selfish reasons.”
“I can assure you that following what we’re putting in place gives you a good chance – like 99% of it not happening again. Of course, with fears there, that’s a conversation to discuss with your partner here about.” Sarina glances up at Chase’s brown eyes, and Chase just rubs her shoulders.
“No matter what, I’ve got your back,” he tells her, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “We can have this conversation whenever you’re ready, but you have nothing to worry about. We can handle whatever happens together.” Sarina takes a deep breath, trying to get herself to calm down some, as she relaxes back in his arms more. There was no denying that he was her security blanket.
“Should Sarina decide to get pregnant in the future, do you see any reasons that may complicate things?” Samantha asks, knowing the train of thought was certainly lost on the pair beside her.
“Before she goes ahead with getting pregnant, I would recommend that she come see me once again,” Dr. Shave states, catching Sarina’s attention. “The only reason is I want to make sure the hormone levels are right, and I do have a concern over a possible uterus issue. While I don’t see signs of that being the problem this time around, your uterus isn’t the shape of a typical woman.”
“Well, she’s not your typical girl either,” Chase offers, trying to lighten the mood some, but only earns a look from Sarina.
“Uterine anomalies are responsible for about 10 percent of miscarriages, and what happens is what we call a uterine septum–miscarriage. Either the embryo doesn’t implant properly, or once implanted, it can’t get the nutrients from the mother it needs. The only correction for that is surgery, and then you may be required to be on bed rest or in the hospital during your pregnancy.” Sarina rolls her eyes with a slight laugh.
“And you think that’s my problem?” Sarina questions and Dr. Shave takes a deep breath.
“You’re not the typical shape, but I don’t see the shape being a problem as of right now,” Dr. Shave tells her. “I just want to keep a close watch on that, hence checking before you decide to go through with a pregnancy.”
“Hey, don’t get all upset about it,” Samantha encourages her. “Everybody is different and has their own challenges. Look at me and Kyle and what I had to go through. I can connect you with a ton of other woman who have faced challenges. No matter what, miracles can happen and if you want, it can happen for you when the time is right.” Sarina wanted to believe that, but alarms were sounding in all directions.
“How am I supposed to get a miracle when nothing else seems to be going right?” Sarina questions, causing a shocked glance from Samantha.
“Nothing is going right? What do you call an amazing, caring boyfriend that would do anything for you? What do you call an amazing opportunity with my team? What do you call winning at Martinsville? What do you call reuniting with your cousin? There has been a lot that has gone right for you.” Samantha then eyes Chase with a bit of confusion, as Chase just keeps Sarina held close.
“Ignore every single thing that Shelley said to you and delete it from your mind,” he encourages her. “I don’t want you to think about a single word that she said. I don’t care what she thinks. You did what you could, and had to do in the situation you were dealt. It’s not your fault how things turned out, just like this is not your fault either. Like I told you, no matter the battle, you can get through it and I’m here with you the whole way – I promise.” Sarina takes a deep breath, letting both comments consume her thoughts as she tries to block out everything else.
“It’s just tough sometimes, you know?” She tells them, and they both nod their head.
“Life isn’t easy,” Samantha tells her. “It throws tough moments at you so you can appreciate the highs that much more. It makes you think back and reflect, and be thankful. Just always remind yourself of those positives in the toughest moments.” Sarina nods her head, accepting.
“That was actually a pretty cool afternoon at Martinsville….”
The doctor didn’t have much more to say, letting them go with the note to call if they had any questions or concerns, and remember the advice given. Once reaching the parking lot, Samantha assured them both once again, while they wished her the best on her trip away, before separating.
“You know, I could skip the game tonight,” Chase offers as they get set to leave.
“You’re kidding me right?” Sarina questions, looking over totally shocked.
“No, I am not kiddi-”
“There’s no way that you’re skipping the game. This has been your dream to see your team in the playoff finals at home. You’re not skipping it, Chase.” He then reaches over and takes her hand with his own.
“You mean more to me than a football game. You mean more to me than a lot of things, actually. I would do anything for you. I wish I could just take away every bit of pain you’re feeling and put it on my shoulders, sometimes. I care a lot about you, and I’d hate to go to the game if you really need me tonight.” A small smile forms on her face as she takes her other hand and places it on top of his.
“I love you, and trust me – you are my world at times. I know there’s a lot of emotions swirling through my head, but you can believe that I will fine tonight. Christopher and I have already planned a variety of topics to talk about, along with a couple racing games, too. I will be fine tonight. You deserve to go have some fun and cheer on your dawgs.” The smile on his face now matched hers.
“Are you sure?” She nods her head. “Alright, only if you say so. But if anything comes up, text me and I will fly back instantly.” She nods her head once again.
“I’ll be fine, Chase. I’m a big girl.” He then puts the key in the ignition, heading out to the short drive over to Christopher’s.