Ryan’s POV
Sunday, June 13 – Texas Motor Speedway
I had all these reasons to watch Chase Elliott for everything that was going on.
But damn, the on-track reason doesn’t need to be there to add another layer. I don’t know what they’re doing, but they’ve certainly gotten something figured out because I spent most of my night looking at the back of those Camaros. I know I say I like to look at Elliott’s ass, but damn, not that ass.
Honestly, though, I feel good about the improvement made because at least we could somewhat hang with them and not really anybody has said anything along those lines for awhile now. Do I think we can beat them? Meh, not quite.
“Nice job tonight,” I hear and a smile forms on my face.
I knew Isabelle was here tonight, she was on my list of VIPS, and I hadn’t had enough time to find someone else to come so she was left on the list. Truth be told, it didn’t bother me either way even with everything going on right now. She was still one of a few that I could talk to about it, and she was still the closest person I had to me right now. If I could figure out what I wanted to do, and maybe let that man go finally, then we could truly find more on those emotions.
“Thank you,” I reply back, allowing her to see the smile. Despite everything, I hoped she realized I still cared.
“I was surprised when I got the phone call from the pilot asking for me to be at the airport for fly out time, and to come this weekend,” she starts, obviously not missing a beat. Remember the time spent apart? Yeah, here we go…. “I haven’t seen you in a while, Ryan. I haven’t seen you since our discussion.”
“I apologize about that. I just have a lot on my mind,” and you are just the tip of the iceberg.
“So obviously there was food to my thought in what I said to you…” She isn’t lying there, as I certainly have been thinking a lot about Chase the past couple of weeks.
“I reached out to Chase. We had a moment one weekend when I watched the World of Outlaws with him and his dad when my coverage went out. It felt like old times to a degree. I then asked him if we could hang out again, but probably pushed the boundaries a little more than I should, and he changed the direction.” I still regretted every message I sent. I was still punching myself in the gut. I even wanted to send another message to apologize, but damn, I couldn’t find the way to allow my fingers to type that.
“As I predicted, you still have feelings for him, and you are still not ready to let him go totally.” I think anybody who knew what Chase and I had would have the same reaction to that. It was so easily written on every ounce of the bond we shared, and what we meant to each other. Plus, wasn’t that normally the assumption with any relationship that lasted a long time? You don’t just forget about the person.
“You’re right, but I also don’t want to cheapen us, either, and that’s why I apologized. I felt something special with me, I saw something, that’s why I reached for the kiss. Everything that followed reassured that, and trust me when I say this as we stand here – it’s still here. I could probably reach out, kiss you, and move forward like nothing. But I don’t want to do that because you’re right in your words in that I shouldn’t dive into something until I’m absolutely certain. It’s just so hard to decide what to do because both feel so much different, and yet special in their own ways.” Can I just have both cakes, please? That’d make things so much easier.
“The fact that you’re taking the time, trying to create distance, giving yourself space to think and discuss feelings and see what you want – that’s all I need to know. It shows me that you care about my feelings beyond just the simple things. I can’t wait forever, but I am willing to give you some time because of how special I believe our time together was, and how special we could be together.” When she says words like that, it makes me just want to dive right in and forget everything else that I am thinking of. Why fight for what I can’t have when there’s someone here ready to cure the wounds away?
“I won’t make you wait forever, I’ll give you that much benefit. I just hope that you’re going to accept my invitation to join me at Nashville this weekend.” Nashville was something we all discussed – myself, Chase and Isabelle – about having a great time, enjoying the city, doing everything, and totally embracing the experience. Even with things the way they were, I was hoping to make something happen here.
“Nashville isn’t something that I could ever dream up going to. I was going to go, whether invited with you or as a fan. The only question that remains – what’s in the cards for the weekend?”
“Let’s just say you better hold on tight,” because if you know anything about me and Nashville, things were about to hit a new level.
It also inspired me to glance at my phone once more, and wonder what could be with him involved…..
Ryan: I apologize once again for overstepping boundaries. Nashville was supposed to be the best party thought of so I am going to keep the door open. I was wondering if you wanted to join me in some fun.
Ladybug's Fan Fiction 