Ryan’s POV
Monday, June 14 – Nashville, Tennessee
The text message was left unanswered. I know it went through and I know he read it – receipts are turned on, fyi, but yet there was no answer.
He could’ve just said no thank you. He could’ve said he wasn’t interested. He could’ve said that he was busy, other plans. He could’ve even flat out told me he wanted nothing to do with me after the stunt I pulled last week.
Instead, he read it and didn’t answer it, and that hurt more because that wasn’t something he had ever done to me, or to anyone for that matter. He always answered his messages, even if he kept them real short.
That’s why instead of this great party fun we talked about upon hearing Nashville was on the schedule how now turned into just me and Isabelle sitting her at a table, running out of basic conversation to have.
Oh, I had offered Bubba to come but he at least had the courtesy to let me know he could not due to being busy, and maybe later in the week.
“Maybe he’s just trying to create extra distance due to a mixture of thoughts, fears, and emotions,” Isabelle tried to assure me when I told her about the lack of response. Heck, even her being surprised proved to me enough what I needed to know.
“Or maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore,” was my automatic heartbroken response. What else was I supposed to say anymore?
“He wouldn’t had accepted your invite to watch the World of Outlaws or been frien-”
“You also forget the text messages that I sent last week since then.” I sounded like a pity party, but truth be told, that’s all I could feel every time I glanced at my phone.
“You know him better than anyone else, Ryan. This is just a phase. He even told you that he wouldn’t totally give up on the friendship. You’ve been through break-ups before – distance allows you time to think, put everything in perspective. I think the text reminded him of what could’ve been with you, and now he just wants distance so he can figure out how to move forward.” We all knew what that could mean, and that included the possibility of losing my best friend forever.
“What if I lost him forever? I don’t want to lose my best friend over a mistake.” I bit my tongue as soon the words escaped my mouth, and bit it harder in seeing the hurt expression on her face. “I didn’t mean it like tha-”
“You still said the words, Ryan.” She had been comforting my pity, so I guess she deserved the rightful explanation for why I said what I did.
“As I’ve told you, the feelings have always been there. I acted on those feelings and the kiss, the night together, they confirmed those feelings are legit. However, I made a mistake in making a move without talking to Chase first, without respecting what we had together, and without thinking of the possible consequences. I allowed one feeling to overpower another, when truth be told, I don’t know what I want more at this point – as I told you Sunday.” I could only pray that I was on-track with my words because I felt even worse now. Not only had I ruined a friendship with my best friend, but I was also chasing away my closest confident with my stupid comments.
“It’s okay, I understand what you’re saying. It just hurt to even think that the kiss was remotely a mista-”
“Trust me, I went about it wrong, but I know it wasn’t a mistake because part of me wants to feel those lips against mine once again.” Maybe it was the loneliness speaking and making it come out more so than it had been, but I also knew somewhere in my heart those words were true.
“And as I told you, I’m ready to feel your skin against mine – but only when you’re truly ready. I know you’re hurting Ryan, but tonight isn’t that night.” She obviously saw through it before I did, the same way Alex saw through Chase’s original advances. I wonder if he ignored me because they were hooking up somewhere in Nashville instead.
“I know, and I respect you enough to not do that to you. But I do thank you for your company and advice and someone to talk to while I sort through all of this.”
Ladybug's Fan Fiction 