The Tale of Love & Racing: Sarina’s Story – Chapter 11: “I’m touched, really. You would do that for me?”

Thursday, January 4 – Secrets Papacayo, Costa Rico

With Lindsay on the premises, it was another day of the boys cutting loose and having some fun of their own. After starting off the day off with a good long mountain bike ride and taking in the sights, they ventured to renting some motor bikes and going on some of the other trails.

After some laughs and thrills along the way, the pair headed back to the beach.

“So what’s your plan for tonight?” Chase wonders, catching Ryan’s attention.

“Who says I have a plan?” Ryan asks and Chase just shrugs his shoulders. “Look, I can tell that Sarina wants to set Lindsay and I up toge-”

“We could see the chemistry radiating off you both at the banquet party – well, she could at least.” Ryan looks over surprised, earning a simple nod from Chase. “That’s when she came up with a possible double blind date scenario, however your idea for tonight is just that much better in her eyes.”

“I know that you and Sarina need some alone time to discuss things, so I was simply offering Lindsay a good time to keep her busy for awhile to give you that.” Chase stops, placing his hand on his chest.

“I’m touched, really. You would do that for me?” Ryan stops, and laughs.

“That coming from the guy that dragged my ass out to the trac-”

“That’s growing real old real quick, Ryan.” Ryan just chuckles. “I appreciate it though. But you hanging out with a girl without any reason of your own?”

“Look, Lindsay is a great girl and she’s really nice. But a future? Building to that relationship you’re both teasing? I don’t know if I see that myself, so no – I don’t have any secret plans or anything. Given that she’s never been here, I may take her to see those exotic birds and check out some of the night life. Isn’t that one other beach supposed to a little lively at night?” Chase nods his head, remembering their initial planning discussions.

“We’re still on for the exotic bird tour tomorrow, right?” Ryan wasn’t quite sure on the idea, but knew how much it meant to do something for the girls, so he reluctantly accepted.

The pair make it back to the beach, seeing where the girls had easily chosen to relax for the day.

“Oh great, trouble is back,” Sarina comments, earning a chuckle from Lindsay. “So you’re both alive?”

“We were careful and I took care of your sweetheart here to make sure he didn’t fall on his head,” Ryan offers as Sarina just smiles.

“Strangely, I can’t say the same for him all the way around,” Chase adds, as Ryan shows them a small scrape on his knee. “Everything okay here?”

“Nothing to complain about the sunny weather, warm temperatures, lemonade, beach and catching up,” Sarina tells him as he glances over at Lindsay with a quick smile. It was nice to see Sarina have someone she could just ramble on with, especially at this time. “Samantha called. She met up with the doctor, gave her everything that we had on file, and said there were no problems. Her doctor is going to go over it all, put together some possible answers, and then we should meet up after we get back to Charlotte.”

“Just tell me the day and time, and I’ll make sure that I am there.” She then gives him a glance.

“When we get back, both of us should be focu-”

“The number one priority is getting you better, first. Then we can worry about everything else.” She then lets out a long sigh.

“I’m going to be fine, Chase. We’ve been over that a couple times now, right? So we can stop worrying and focus on everything else because before we both know it, Daytona will be here.” Chase almost said something back in response, but knew why she was being stubborn – continuing to avoid the topic, and frankly, he still didn’t know if he was ready despite venting to Samantha.

“I’m still coming wit-”

“You don’t nee-”

“I know, but I want to be there to support you, and understand why this happened. Isn’t that allowed? I’m sure anywhere from a half hour to an hour away from the shop will go unnoticed.” She then lets out a sigh, as it was her turn to realize she wasn’t going to win this argument. Secretly, though, she was glad that he would be there as she wasn’t sure of her own emotions.

“Fine.” He then smiles, glad that they had found some common ground.

“I’m surprised that he won that argument with a compromise,” Lindsay whispers to Ryan, who just chuckles.

“Let’s just say that he knows the way to her heart just like that,” he offers back in return. Sarina just watched the pair, giving Chase a wink, but Chase could only roll his eyes back in response after the discussion with Ryan.


Thursday, January 4

Following a nice supper together, Chase and Sarina were sitting on a bench just outside where they were staying, glancing up at the clear sky of stars.

“So Ryan divulge any plans with Lindsay for tonight?” Sarina breaks the silence after awhile and Chase shakes his head no. “That’s a shock. Normally, he is always coming up some clever plan.” Chase glances over at her.

“The only plan he had for tonight was allowing us some time alone,” he states, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “How are you feeling?” She then lets out a sigh, having grown annoyed of the question. It seemed he asked her every couple of hours now-a-days.

“The usual – sore, crampy, and still the usual blood. Like everything else, my body doesn’t want to give me the easy way out and just do the quick drop.” Chase rubs her shoulder, honestly not surprised. It never seemed anything went easy in their lives, right?

“The doctor mentioned a possibility of your body not doing it all by itself, possibly needing drugs or the procedu-”

“Suction curettage. Just because I was emotional that night, I was listening to what Dr. Adams was saying. If I’m still having these issues on Monday, I’ll bring it up at the appointment with Samantha.” She then closes her eyes, laying her head on Chase, as everything just flashes through together. “You know, they say miscarriages are emotional because you’re losing a life, a piece of you and the person who means everything to you. I didn’t even know that was there – but the thought and feeling of that just tears me apart. How do you even move forward?”

“You try to find the best answers to what happened, and put those solutions in place going forward to try and not repeat the same mista-”

“Oh great…” Chase then freezes as she lifts her head off of him, and looks into his eyes. “So that’s what this is?”

“Well, we weren’t trying for you to get pregnant – we were actually hoping to avoid that with the measures in place. So it was a mistake that happened.” She then rolls her eyes, going to pull further away, as he grabs her hand. “But it’s not the type of mistake that you can be angry at, though. It’s not the type of mistake that warrants despair. Heck, maybe the word ‘mistake’ is the wrong choice to say all the way around. I don’t know…”

“It’s like you’re implying that I did something wrong….” Chase shakes his head no, immediately, while mentally slapping himself. Why was this so hard?

“You absolutely did nothing wrong. It wasn’t your fault one way or another. We had no idea that you were pregnant because we were doing everything to prevent it – obviously something slipped up. But even still, this happening wasn’t something that you did. It’s not your fault that your body went through this, or say something happened along the way by accident. You couldn’t have known…” She relaxes a little, sitting back down on the bench with him.

“So the solution to moving forward is  figuring out what happened and what went wrong, and making sur-”

“Trying to not repeat the same course of actions. Like always, it’s about learning from your mistakes so you can make yourself better moving forward. Maybe we need a different form of birth control, or maybe I am using the wrong brand of condoms. Then maybe when it comes to having a baby together, maybe you need to take certain vitamins or something to carry the baby full term, or maybe something else. That’s why Samantha is looking into this.” Sarina smiles as she thinks to how Samantha was that night, all the way till even her phone call today.

“She’s amazing, Chase. I mean, I know a lot of people say this wife or girlfriend is amazing and special, but Sam is just something else. To go through everything that she went through so her and Kyle could have Brexton, and then to do all of this for us, it just surprises me so much.” Chase nods his head in agreement, as he hadn’t expected Samantha to join him at the hospital that night.

“I don’t know if I’d be in this place where I am about what happened if it wasn’t for her, to be honest. She just knows the perfect response to say when you tell her something.” Sarina glances at him a little confused. “As much as this has affected you, I can admit that my emotions have been scattered.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Chase lets out a sigh as he pulls her back close to him.

“You were dealing with enough yourself, from the pains to the emotions; I didn’t want to further push you. I wanted to be strong for you, knowing that you need that.” She then glances up at him.

“You know, you don’t always have to be my perfect knight in shining armor, Chase. I can take care of you. You can bring your emotions to me as much as I bring mine to you, and we can bounce that back and forth. That’s what makes us a great team.” He nods his head, accepting. Under any other situation, he probably would’ve done that. But this was one of those cases where he was fighting each battle piece by piece. “So what did you tell her?”

“Last night, we talked about how we haven’t discussed a lot of emotions, like we are now.” She just lets out a sigh with an eye roll.

“She probably thinks I’m a coward or not stron-”

“Absolutely not. Sarina, not one single person who has seen what you’re going through and how you’re handling it believes that you’re not strong. Look at everything you’ve been through to this point in your life. You’re the strongest woman that I know.” She then glances back up into his brown eyes.

“Says the guy that won’t tell me how he feels because he’s worried about my emo-”

“Because this is one of those situations that take time, but you’re still strong. You’re braving each day with a smile on your face, trying to do things despite the pain you’re in, and having as much fun as you can. If you weren’t strong, you’d still be curled up inside right now with s self-pity.” She smiles a little. “And for the record, Sam didn’t say anything like that at all. She said to me that as we both wrap our arms around everything, with time, the discussion will happen when the time is right. Pushing it too soon just makes it worse. She also told me just to make sure we didn’t avoid it forever – which I told her that I could never do that because I could never run from you. I know the feeling, and I don’t want to see that happen again.”

“Chase, I am still so sorry for doing that to you – twice at that. The worst thing you can do with a problem is run from it because it just makes it worse, and I did that to you twice.” He takes a deep breath as he keeps her held close.

“It’s okay. I understand. You didn’t know what to do, so you thought you were doing the right thing. I’m not mad. Actually, it makes me appreciate small moments like these that much more.” She then glances back at him, kissing his lips lightly.

“You’re truly special.” He smiles, wiping her hair out of her face.

“That goes both ways, and I wouldn’t want to imagine my life any differently than this – well, maybe without the pain.”


Friday, January 12

“Look at the colors!!” Sarina comments as she looks over the parrot that had just sat on Chase’s shoulder.

They were walking through one of the exotic bird tours, checking out the different types of birds that called Puerto Rico their home. Throughout this whole tour, though, the birds were used to the humans and would casually come close, sometimes sitting right down on the people.

“That red and blue is just perfect,” Lindsay adds, snapping a photo as Sarina just stands there in awe.

“He’s even more beautiful than the green one – sorry Ryan,” Sarina comments as Ryan glances at the parrot still on his shoulder.

“I feel like Captain Jack Sparrow – minus the ship and rum,” he offers as Chase chuckles, which caused his bird to fly off.

“Are you okay?” He double checks with Sarina and she nods her head, accepting. She was appreciative of everybody just taking their time slowly so that way she didn’t overstrain herself.

“I just wish I could get a bird to land on me like you keep doing,” she replies as he places his hands on her shoulders.

“Take a deep breath, count to five, and just relax….” He moves his hands down, rubbing her arms, before wrapping his arms around her. “Just breathe, relax, and chill. They can feel your nerves and when you’re tense. If you keep yourself nice and relaxed, it’s comforting to them and they will come see you.”

“Someone was paying attention at the beginning,” Lindsay comments, remembering the speech given to them when they paid for the tour.

“There’s one!” Sarina lets out, causing the bird to immediately fly away. “Damn it!” Chase keeps his arms wrapped around her, now beginning to rub her stomach.

“Just relax, stay quiet, and don’t move…” Chase coaches her as she tries to focus on his words, ignoring the temptation as the birds fluttered around them. Eventually, one of the birds slowly flies down, landing right on her head, followed by another on her shoulder. “Ssssh…”

“That’s just perfection!” Lindsay comments, taking a couple photos of them with the birds. “Cutest couple we know, with two of the world’s most majestic creatures. Perfect keepsake from the trip.”

“I want a copy of that,” Sarina says after taking a look at the image. “That just felt so amazing…” She then glances over her shoulder back at Chase. “Do you think we could get a pet parrot?”

“I’d be scared of Ryan teaching it bad words,” Chase replies as Ryan just flips him the bird. “See what I mean?”

“Thank you for this today.” She then kisses his lips as they finish up the tour. “Thank you for this perfect vacation, seeing the birds – just everything.” She then looks over at Ryan and Lindsay. “And thank you for both coming, and what you did, too.”

“I was beginning to think my efforts of planning were being forgotten,” Ryan comments. “You know, they almost forewent the trip. I convinced them to still go despite everything.”

“Really?” Lindsay questions and Ryan nods his head yes with a smile. “Well I guess I owe you a thank you, too.”

“See how he’s trying to reward himself with compliments?” Sarina whispers to Chase and Chase nods his head, having caught it too. “He likes her…”

“We’re in trouble,” Chase adds, causing Sarina to laugh back in response.

“What’s so funny?” Ryan then asks and Chase just shrugs his shoulders. “Oh come on, I know you’re both picking on me…”

“Let them,” Lindsay comments, catching everyone off-guard. “They’re just jealous of you sometimes.”

“Oh boy, we’ve created a monster,” Sarina offers, earning a laugh from Chase.

“Please don’t feed his ego,” Chase adds, giving Sarina a wink.


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