The Tale of Love & Racing: Sarina’s Story – Chapter 8: “There’s no way.”

December 31, 2017  – Carolina’s Medical Center – Charlotte, North Carolina

“Nice to see you’re awake,” the doctor comments as Sarina simply smiles in response. “I’m Dr. Adams, and I’ve been in charge since they brought you in. How are you feeling?” Was that question even necessary at this point?

“Pretty sore,” she admits, hand continuing to rub her stomach, trying to ease off the pain.

“Are the pain killers helping that at all?” She nods her head, noticing that they’d taken away the worst of it. But still, there was no way she could get comfortable just yet. “That’s great, and they should to work more as they get into your system. Now, I didn’t want to say anything earlier due to patient confidentiality, especially on something like this. If you want, you can ask both of them to leave before I tell you what is going on.” Sarina immediately shakes her head no.

“They can both find out.” The doctor nods his head, accepting, as eyes of nerves focus on him in every direction.

“So we’ve discovered you had a miscarriage.” A series of jaws drop immediately as Sarina shakes her head in disbelief. That couldn’t be possible.

“What?” Chase and Sarina both say together, still caught off-guard.

“There’s no way,” Sarina adds as she locks eyes with Chase. They used protection and she was on the pill. They were always careful. It wasn’t like she had even experienced any signs of being pregnant, either, or else she would’ve taken a test and then proceeded to be more careful.  “I wasn’t even pregnant…”

“You must’ve bee-” The doctor goes to repeat as Sarina continues shaking her head.

“This can’t be true.” The doctor takes a deep breath as he glances between Chase and Samantha, before focusing back on Sarina.

“I assure you that is what is happening with your body, based on the pains, ultrasound, pelvic exam, and the beginning traces of blood.” Chase’s eyes immediately fall to his lap, noticing a bit of red on his pants. That must’ve seeped through her jeans while she was laying on him on the bathroom floor, and he hadn’t even noticed. “Now, there’s not much that we can do, except let it run its course, while making sure you’re hydrated and able to handle the pain. With that in mind, I am going to leave and give you some time to process, talk amongst yourselves, and then I will come back after and we can discuss options moving forward, as well as answer any questions.” The doctor then quietly leaves the room as Sarina just stares forward, continuing to shake her head. Was this really happening? Was she really starting the new year like this?

“I can’t even say the words….” Chase found himself in a state of shock and disbelief. He was glad that it wasn’t something more serious and she would be okay. But to lose a baby? To be sitting there and find out they had a child coming without even realizing? How was this even possible?

“You had no idea you were pregnant?” He double checks, almost worried that she had kept the news from him. Maybe she had been waiting for the right time to tell him, maybe she was scared of his reaction. But no, she would never do that because they had entered a stage in their relationship where they could trust each other no matter what happened.

“Absolutely not,” Sarina states firmly, and Chase nods his head, accepting. It was a far-fetched comment to try and give some reasoning to what they learned, but highly unlikely to give the answer he wanted.

“Did you skip a period?” Samantha wonders, confusion filling her as she kept her eyes locked on the pair.

“My cycle has been out of whack for a long time.” Samantha nods her head, accepting.

“Okay. But you guys knew to use protection, right?” Chase’s jaw drops as he immediately remembers the one night.

“Oh crap…” He lets out, as Samantha looks over with a little shock of her own. So this was no super accidental surprise? She thought the pair would’ve been more careful knowing what was at stake on all ends, especially after Kyle’s comment.

“Now that was when?” Samantha wonders, trying to hold her tongue from yelling at their lack of smartness here. She let her worry for Sarina consume her more than what was actually happening to keep that at bay.

“Beginning of October – but I had my period the week after.” Chase nods his head, remembering that weekend clearly. It was when he got his first dose of what really bad period cramps look like.

“The pains at Talladega,” he adds to give Samantha reminder. Samantha nods her head, accepting, remembering that weekend as they had Erik sit on stand-by for the race. Taking a deep breath, that eliminated the process of blaming them for being stupid. At least they were using all protocols necessary.

“Bu you could still had gotten pregnant since then,” she starts carefully, trying to piece together. “Sometimes condoms don’t worry as they can break, you know?” Sarina had heard the horror stories, and sometimes wondered in those extra passionate moments where the latex was standing up to the job. However, she still felt confused as she sat there.

“But I’m on the pill, and we’ve used the condoms every time, except once,” Sarina insists and Samantha nods her head, accepting. She appreciated the homework and due diligence by both, but knew what was possible. After all, she had done every bit of pregnancy research you could do when she wasn’t having any luck getting pregnant herself. Thankfully, the IVF procedure worked out for both her and Kyle to have Brexton.

“Some girls get a period for the first month even when they’re pregnant. Actually, there’s even a rarity out there of a couple having their periods right through a pregnancy. And while the pill is supposed to be fool proof on top of your condoms, I’ve read stories of that not working as planned, either.” She then walks over, placing a hand on Sarina’s leg to catch her attention. She could see how this was eating up Sarina already. “Listen, I know this is harder to accept and it’s confusing. But I know ladies who don’t realize they’re pregnant until the third month. So it can happen. The main thing is that you’re okay.” Sarina kept her eyes focused on the bed, wanting to let those words from Samantha sink in, but still feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt. How could she let this happen when there are girls who would just wish to be in the same position as her?

“I messed up…” Chase immediately moves his arms to her shoulders, wrapping them around her, pulling her into a hug, wanting to ease every bit of blame she felt.

“You couldn’t had known,” he offers as she looks over into his eyes.

“It doesn’t make me feel better,” she replies as the doctor reenters the room. Chase retreats back to his seat, hand still locked on hers, eyes drooping down as guilt and sadness reflected from her words.

“Did we have a chance to talk about it?” Dr. Adams asked and the group simply nods their head quietly. “Understandably. I am going to go through some things that you should know for your own sake. This is a process that can take anywhere from a day to 20 days in some cases as your body sheds everything. I would make sure to have panty liners and pads for the blood because you don’t know how long that can take.”

“Lovely…”

“I’ll be with you the whole way,” Chase assures her, reaching up for a kiss on the cheek, before focusing back on the doctor.

“Over that time, the pain should slowly decrease each day to where you have no effects,” Dr. Adams offers. “Now, you can either let this process happen naturally, or we can give you misoprostol, which will cause uterus contractions, to help speed it along quicker. You can also have a health care professional, whether myself or a fellow female doctor if you’d prefer, perform a suction curettage to remove everything manually. Would you be interested in either of these right now?” Sarina felt overwhelmed and confused immediately as she keeps her eyes focused on Chase, as if the answer was written on him.

“It’s up to you. It’s your body, and your situatio-”

“You’re partially to blame too,” she snaps, immediately freezing as she tries to take a couple calming deep breathes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I’m just frustrated, and….I don’t even know anymore…” Chase takes a deep breath, trying to let it simply roll off his shoulders, but she was right. He was responsible for getting her pregnant.

“It’s your body, though, so it’s whatever you want to do. But, as you’re right in the fact that I’m just as much a part of this too, I will be right by your side with whatever you choose.” She nods her head, accepting, as she tries to process everything through. Given the wide range of emotions, and the fact that she couldn’t be many months along, maybe it was best to just keep tings status quo.

“I’m going to try and go about it naturally, and then only go down that road if deemed necessary.” Dr. Adams nods, accepting, as he makes a note in her file.

“That’s totally understandable, and I’m sorry to put this pressure on you for decisions at this time,” he comments. “Now, during the process, if you find your blood increases or stays bright red, or you have a foul smell, or a fever, or the cramping doesn’t become any less, you need to come in immediately as something is obviously and clearly wrong. We are going to keep you tonight to monitor the situation before letting you go tomorrow, but this is for when you get home.”

“Lovely,” Sarina comments as she looks over at Chase. “We get to spend New Years in a hospital room. Aren’t you so excited?” Chase almost chuckled, but held it back as his worry was still pinged. What if they ran into one of those issues? What were they supposed to do? How would he handle it? After all, his normal calm collected self barely handled everything tonight; he would’ve been totally lost without Samantha there.

“As long as I’m with you, and you’re going to be okay, I don’t care where we are,” he offers as she just smiles back in response. As annoying as perfect love comments could be sometimes, it was nice to hear as it gave her heart comfort – despite the swirl that felt to be going around and around.

“Once you heal, I would wait four to six weeks before having any intercourse,” Dr. Adams continues and the pair nod their heads. Truthfully, with this scare having happened, they knew there were other questions to answer in the process. “And I’d wait three to six months before getting pregnant once again. Other than that, I have nothing else that you must know. Do you have any questions?”

“Is it possible to get a copy of everything?” Samantha asks, catching everyone off-guard. “And do you know the cause? I just feel it’s best for her for future reference.” Sarina smiled as it was nice to have Samantha there to look out for her, and do things that totally weren’t even in the midst of her thoughts. “I want to pass it along to my specialist so that way she can have some answers…”

“We cannot released without patient consent,” Dr. Adams states as Sarina looks over.

“It’s okay, she can do this,” Sarina replies, with a small smile. “Thank you..”

“I’ll bring you back complete photo copies in a bit.” Samantha nods her head yes as she watches the doctor leave the room.

“Know that no matter what, I love you,” Chase tells her as he goes back to rubbing her hand.

“I love you, too,” she quietly replies, keeping her eyes locked on him.

“You  know, you can always talk to me – both of you,” Samantha assures them and they nod their heads, accepting.

************************

January 1, 2018 12:00 AM – Carolina’s Medical Center – Charlotte, North Carolina

As the clock ticked midnight, the pair of them glanced at each other with a smile.

“Happy New Years!” He tells her, kissing her lips, as he keeps his arms wrapped around her. After Samantha had left and he insisted that he wasn’t leaving her alone for the night, he had climbed up in the bed with her, allowing her to lay back against him in his arms. It had helped calm her some after everything.

“Happy New Years to you, too,” she replies. “Here’s to not spending much more time here, and to happier times.” He smiles, nodding his head in agreement. “I love you, Chase.”

“I love you too, Sarina, always and forever, no matter what happens.” He then takes a deep breath, reaching for her hand, letting their fingers lock together. “It’s going to be okay. We’ve got each other.”

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