Chase walks up the stairs, taking a deep breath as he walks into the bedsroom. Slipping out of his clothes into a pair of boxers and t-shirt, he sits on the bed with a sigh.
He hadn’t expected the night to be so emotional. After the time he spent with Tony just prior, he was going to wait a bit before diving into that again – take it one step at a time, slowly, ease into it knowing how much was there. However, thinking everything over a couple times in his head, he knew that it was worth it.
The conversation with his father allowed him to get his mind over one more thought that had been troubling it, and one of the most confusing. Why would the oldest incident now bug him? However, given the discussion, those pieces came together – it’s where learned Randy could manipulate and deceive with ease as he managed to do that to a whole group of people to simply help someone. It was also where he allowed Randy control the first time, giving him the opportunity of knowledge to strike again – repeatedly as it turned out.
He knew he couldn’t blame himself over that, though, as he knew no blame, no fault, no regrets was the motto if he wanted to move forward. He couldn’t blame himself for following Randy that day in knowing what those pictures were. He couldn’t fault Dale and Marie for getting him mixed up in this mess. He also couldn’t regret what happened with Mariela as things could’ve much worse.
He admitted being surprised that Alyssa turned to his mother to dish out the deepest feelings she was feeling about the attack. However, he could see the reason why – avoiding her own parents due to pain struggle, avoiding surrounding friends in having seen them witness everything through the years, and knowing Cindy could relate given what had happened.
Initially, he was upset that she said something, not wanting his mom to hear those details. However, he felt thankful in a way. It helped Cindy understand why he was so troubled by everything, and it allowed Alyssa to begin moving forward.
He also thankful for the discussion that he got to have with his mom by himself, giving her the comfort and assurance she needed to trust him moving forward, and handle everything sent her way. In the mix of his own mess of feelings, he knew he lost track of remembering how those around him become affected by the same events by nature. He also cherished the advice she forked over, too, knowing it came from a good place of knowledge. As he hears the shower turn off, he knew he’d use it moving forward.
He smiles as he looks up, seeing Alyssa standing in the doorway a couple minutes after, fully dressed already. She had simply thrown a towel over her hair quickly, in which Chase gets up, walking over and wrapping it atop her head perfectly.
“I love you,” he tells her, before giving her a kiss afterwards. “My parents are staying the night. It just felt more comfort-”
“It’s fine, I understand,” Alyssa tells him with ease as she walks by, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Did you and your mom have the talk she wanted?” Chase shakes his head yes as he sits beside her. “You’re not mad that I told her, are you?”
“Absolutely not. Actually, it helped as she could see where I was coming from with my feelings and offer me advice in knowing my corks. So in a way, you helped me out while helping getting it off your chest.” He then rubs her shoulders. “I bet it feels better, huh?” She shakes her head yes.
“I didn’t realize how much it was burdening on me till it just started pouring out to her – every action, every emotion.” He wraps an arm around her and pulls her close.
“Listen, that’s why I was worried about you. I know how it burdens down and just can eat at you slowly if not dealt with. It’s the worst feeling because those are emotions you never want to feel again, but have to if you’re going to move forward. I get it. That’s why I avoid it…or at least my mental self tells me too, while the logical side says you need to do something. The biggest thing is that you did something, and you started the process. That right there is amazing in itself. Now you’ve dealt with the biggest piece, it’s those small pieces now.” She then lays her head against him.
“Does it get easier?” He smiles as he remembered when he asked Dale that very question, and the answer given to him. It seemed perfectly fitting given what he knew now.
“In some ways it will. You’ll find a strategy to handle it day-in-day-out and slowly move forward, piece by piece. You’ll work out something – whether a diary, thought process, breathing exercise, whatever – something healthy that works for you. Your dad has his way, and I have mine. In the midst of that, there’s something for you, too.” She hoped she found that way rather sooner than later as she hated the feelings circulating, and didn’t want to be repeating them again.
“Did you and your dad have a good talk?” Chase shakes his head yes.
“Trust me, that helped more than I realized. I was a little mad that they interrupted our quiet night at first – but it was worth it, really. Sometimes, I need to admit that I still my mommy.” Alyssa chuckles as she stands up. “Um, where are you going? That doesn’t mean I don’t need my Lyssa.” She then glances back, surprised.
“I need to dry my hair ‘cause going to bed with wet hair is out of the question.” He then stands up and follows her back to the bathroom.
“Let me help you then. The sooner it’s done, the sooner we can cuddle right?” She smiles and shakes her head yes as they head into the bathroom together.