My eyes are closing and I’m scared
Cause I only dream of you
Following the shower, he dries himself on before glancing in the mirror.
Letting out a yawn, he knew that he needed to get some sleep somehow. He had a big day tomorrow – a couple interviews, followed by filming a commercial for a sponsor. There was no way that he could show up to all that feeling as tired as he was.
Though, as he stood there, he noticed the scar that remained on his shoulder from that night. His eyes fixate on it, remembering how the piercing glass through her skin, her trademark left on him, had changed him. It wasn’t as bad as the back spasms that plagued him for months, but it was the turning point. Seeing the blood seep down that night, combined with the rest of the night, he knew the game of survival was a game he wouldn’t win with her. It was why he had called Kyle that night to come, and go get some help.
Shaking his head, he knew thinking about that would lead to nowhere. Instead, he had to focus his mind on something else as he walked down the short hallway back to the bedsroom.
Flopping down in the bed wearing nothing but his boxers, he let his mind think back to one of his most recent on-track wins – the Daytona 500 – and how excited he was. He kept telling himself over and over that sleep would allow that feeling to return because he could go to the track, win races, and use it as a distraction.
He knew it was a good possibility, heading to Martinsville Speedway that weekend, a place that he had won at five times prior. As he heard the familiar clock chime being top of the hour, his eyes drifted closed with dreams of bringing another one through the door.
He walks into the house, taking a deep breath. Despite his thoughts that they’d work out these small disagreements, Diane continued to hold them above his head. Knowing that it was getting to be a distraction on-track, he knew something had to be done.
“Hamlin, you said you wanted to talk?” She says from her vantage point on the couch. She was sitting there, straight-up, legs crossed, eyes locked on him. She knew that something was up and it wasn’t good, and he hated that feeling – so much for using surprise to his advantage.
“Yeah, I do want to talk actually,” he states as he slips his shoes off by the front door. He then walks into the front room, debating between remaining standing, sitting down, or retreating to the kitchen for a drink. “We need to have a talk about the past couple of weeks, obviously. As you’ve noticed, my mood has been shit and it’s affected on-track performance enough that the guys are asking way too many damn questions. Listen, we’ve been having issues here and I think we should call it quits if this is going to continue.” He watches an instant look of surprise form on her face. Perhaps she had thought he was going to say something else.
“You’re serious, right? So because you can’t handle my worries about your past, you’re going to break things off? I mean, you told me that I was the best girl for you, the one that you’ve been searching for. You told me that we connected right away – and we had the most amazing sex that you had ever experienced.” He couldn’t deny that, but knew there had to be another sex goddess out there – with a more understanding personality. A bit of guilt formed in her words, though. Perhaps she was right and he was to blame for the constant questions.
“I get that you’re concerned, and I answered to those concerns right from the beginning – I love you, and don’t want any other girl in my life, so I kissed those hoes goodbye. However, it seems that you can’t understand that – hence the repeated questions that you’ve asked. I can’t take always being questioned about my intentions.” It felt better to get it out there in the open and get the pressure off of his chest. It also made him realize how much he needed to call a shop meeting tomorrow and apologize.
“Oh, okay. I get that.” He watches her stand up, walking towards him. In his mind, he ran through a bunch of scenarios. She could make it easy and just walk out the door, leaving his life forever. Perhaps she was going to kiss him and remind him of the connection they have. Perhaps she was going to slap him for whatever reason. Perhaps she had to just go to the bathroom. “Denny, I trust you – in some ways, but you have to understand where I’m coming from.”
“I do, as I stat-”
“And trust me, I love you so much that it pains me at times at how much I can love you. We have this amazing connection, and the sex is obviously the best part. Besides that, trust me, you’re amazing. I can’t complain about the traveling or shopping, either, too. But hey, I get your reasons for confronting me, but listen, I’m just protecting what’s mine. I don’t want you to stray and cause problems, that’s all. You have to understand what I am doing.” He didn’t know if he liked the tone of words – “protecting what’s mine,” “straying,” and the fact that she hadn’t brought up many reasons why she loved him. Was there more to this?
“What are you trying to get at, because at this moment, I’m feeling a little confused.” He watches a smile form on her face – a smile that would cause any blood to drain from the person on the other side, as he felt himself entering a bit of panic worry.
“You want me to walk out the door and say goodbye? Fine, but I’m taking this damn well with me.” She then holds a small black book, which he knew all too well. Why had he decided to keep the name and numbers in that book? Why not just in his cell phone like any other sane person? Oh that’s right – because he had a tendency of breaking phones and losing them, and didn’t want to be left without a girl one week. “What would happen if this would get released to the world?”
“You wouldn’t do that, would you?” She then shrugs her shoulders as she steps back, placing the book behind her back with that familiar smile on her face.
“What’s stopping me, Dennykins? Besides, it’d be great payback for you ruining what we have. I’d just ruin your reputation. Who would want a cheating little bitch who sleeps around in every city he goes to drive for them? ‘Hey, I’m Denny and guess what? FedEx helps me with all my girls because I can ship them all flowers for a good rate. I also like my teammate Kyle so much because M&Ms are just the perfect thing to give them, too.’ That’s a great advertis-”
“Are you damn well blackmailing me, Diane Chainwood?” The smile only widens and it was that moment that he realized he was in trouble, for certain.
“And by the way, I know Kourtney pretty well. It seems that she doesn’t care about her reputation and proudly handed over the tape of you at her house. Remember that trip in Texas?” Denny feels his blood go cold immediately, as he knew that girl quite well. He had picked her up after Dale had left her to the side, spending the next couple years at her place as his “Texas” girl. He couldn’t have known there was security cameras or whatever she used. “Well?”
“Why are you doing this? Do you want some sort of big pay off? I can write you a check, I guess; it’d be my way of paying for being a dumbass. Give me the reason, Diane.” She then closes the gap between them immediately, tugging on his shirt as she pulls him close to her.
“Because I want to keep the good sex life with you to myself, while taking full advantage of everything else that you come with. Remember, I know people and I always get my way. Just like that you’re reputation could be ruined, among other things. You wouldn’t want that, Denny. However, if you deal with me, I’ll let you continue living your life that everybody knows. What do you say superstar?” He knew in that moment, at that time, he had no choice. He would just have to figure out the rest later, and perhaps plan a strategy to make sure nothing happened and they ended things.
“Deal, I guess.”
He then wakes up, letting out an aggravated scream as he sits up and chucks a pillow across the room at full force.
“You stupid ass!” He tells himself. Why hadn’t he developed a strategy? Why hadn’t he done something sooner? Why did he let it continue on sooner? Why did he subject himself to everything over that? Letting out a sigh, he lays back down. “Come on Denny. Forget about her. Think about Martinsville. Think about Daytona. Think about everything else in your life. She’s just one girl who fucked you over.”
Though as he lets out a sigh, he knew there was no way to stop dreaming of her because it seemed she was the only girl that filled every single thought for him.