Falling Deeper – Chapter 5: Madly, Deeply

Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

After lying in bed restless for a couple of hours, Jimmie slowly gets up and out from underneath the covers. He lets his eyes glance over to Candiss, making sure that she hadn’t moved due to him wrestling the covers. He quietly makes his way through the motorcoach, tip toeing each step of the way, finding himself glancing over his shoulder once in a while to make sure that she hadn’t followed.

Upon reaching the kitchen, he stops and reaches in the fridge, grabbing the milk container and pouring himself a glass. He then picks up the glass, slowly letting the white liquid trickle down his throat as he lets out a sigh.

It seemed with each passing day and month, he learned more about Candiss. He had heard her involvement with Dom, why he always seemed to have an extra eye on her, and why she had moved down to North Carolina. He learned how her background on the streets went, as well as what drew her closer to him with each passing moment. Then once again that night, he had learned more about her past.

In previous conversations, they hadn’t discussed her past outside of the simple street racing details. Perhaps that was Jimmie’s own fault, though, as he hadn’t opened up about growing up in California either with her.

Though hearing her recount the details, breath hitching at times along the way with tears threatening to fall, he realized just why perhaps she kept it quiet and locked up. If he had gone through the same thing, he didn’t think he’d want to talk about it either.

The recount of the details, though, made his heart break in sadness for her. It wasn’t fair to put any child through a rough period as she had gone through. It wasn’t fair to crush the dreams of the future, with fear of repetition in that regard. He found himself in awe and speechless, unsure of how to respond.

Perhaps that’s why he couldn’t sleep now as he found himself recounting her words over and over in his mind.

He wondered whether there was more than she was letting on. He wondered whether that presented more challenges for her growing up, such as a development issue. He wondered if that was why she was so hardened on the exterior and careful in letting pieces of herself out when they first crossed paths.

He also found himself wondering if it still bothered her till this day. Were there times where she’d reflect back and find herself broken again? Were there times where she’d have nightmares, or flashbacks to a bad memory? Perhaps that explained why she hated to be alone, and wanted to be with him every moment of the day.

He wondered how it’d affect things in the future. Would they have the dream family that they discussed? Would it result in arguments down the road? Would those moments of her past come back up, whether through an event presenting the same proposal, or people showing up?

Letting out a sigh as he finishes the last drop in the glass, he knew that he couldn’t over concern himself in worry. Where was that going to get him? He knew that he just had to deal with things as they came, one by one, whatever they may be.

Though he also knew one other thing.

He realized just how much he had grown to care for her. He realized just how much he had grown attached to her. He also realized just how broken he’d be if he ever lost her.

Glancing back towards the bedsroom, he knew that he couldn’t let her go, and he had to make that known to her. He had to find a way to tell her as much as he could that he loved her, adored her, and wanted to be with her all the time.

Setting the glass back in the sink, he was set to make good on that promise as he made his way back to the bedsroom, climbing back in bed beside her. He gently, but quickly, wrapped his arm back around her, knowing that he’d leave her alone – unless absolutely necessary for whatever reason.

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